you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize