A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
