I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there's paper in my vomit.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
