I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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