He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
