just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize