Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
