This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
