Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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