Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
