Sry I called you an 8
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
