You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
