we have officially lost it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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