so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
