About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
