i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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