If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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