Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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