Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
