Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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