The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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