i need an iv and a liver transplant
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
did i just pee glitter
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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