I'm drive I can fine osifer
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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