I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
