So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
