Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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