He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
