marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
