You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
