your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It's never too late to be topless.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
