you guys were way drunker than both of me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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