i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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