Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize