Whod you bang
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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