she smelled like a LAN party
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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