Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
The adults are the big ones right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
