tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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