This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
