I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
