I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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