You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize