Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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