He is an equal opportunity slut.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
