She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
