did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
