girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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