just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize