I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
