Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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