I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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