UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
