dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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