it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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