I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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