she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so much tequila, so little girl.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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