Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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