she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
