I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
