I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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