I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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