Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
