Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
