So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
