She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Send help, water and tortillas.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
