He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
