She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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