oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
