And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Text me some of your sweat
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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